A Man that hath friends my show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother – Proverbs 18:24

A recent visit with a friend, reminded me of the power, pleasure and shear joy that having friends provides. The topics of our conversation varied.  We talked about politics, salvation, various ministers, and “lifestyle” issues.  Through it all we realized, though we speak regularly and get together when time permits, discovering greater depth in friendship is an invaluable experience.

Now understand I don’t use the word friend loosely.  It is not merely a term of endearment, but it is a relationship built on trust, faith, and transparency.  It’s more than a passing greeting or just hanging out.  This visit reminded me of what it takes to build a quality friendship.  I also realized that discovering friendship is a tremendous gift.

I will share this.  My friend is a woman.  This is important because we spoke on the topic of “relationships”.  Through our conversation I realized two things.  It is important to understand and define the relationships we have with people.  We must draw a distinct line in the sand between companion and friend. Yet, while the two can be one, it is important to define which or both you want from someone of the opposite gender.  I say this to say that I value the friend that I have.  She provides a perspective that is totally hers, and yet there is a clear line drawn and because of that there is no tension, or paranoia of “could this be someone…”  As people we must realize and value the opportunity for cross gender friendships, and cherish the unique nature of our same gender friendships.

We must challenge ourselves to nurture the friendships we have, be free to make new friends, and remove the walls of our insecurity that keeps others from getting to know, trust and like YOU.  Each of us possesses qualities and abilities that were given to us to build, strengthen and uplift someone else.  Take the time to seek out true friends.

Use this as a litmus test of a true friend:

A true friend will…

• Tell you when you’re wrong
• Love you always and like you most of the time
• Give of themselves to see you happy
• Feel like family
• Reciprocate

-Brian Short